This is about as good as it gets. In Amarillo today, it’s nothing but blue sky and temperatures in the mid to upper 70s. The wind will be as identifiable as a shadow. Or a ghost.
And in Amarillo, that’s saying something.
Oh, it’s going to be quiet around the office today. A lot of “24-hour bug” victims. You’ll think another outbreak of H1N1 stuck. You’ll be on Google checking for symptoms.
Bosses and executives would get mad, too, but they won’t bother showing up to work, either. All the sudden they have afternoon meetings and luncheons to attend.
Their schedules are inexplicably full. Calls go straight to voicemail. All emails are returned with an ‘auto-reply’ message.
Golf is to blame.
In the world of “days off” fishing is fine, with a lake or stream nearby. Baseball is good on a day like this, too. But nothing beats the smell of the grass, the feel of a tee sliding into the dirt and chasing a little white ball around on the first 70-degree day of the year.
It’s almost like another New Year’s celebration.
Only this time, no champagne, no friends of friends you don’t care for. Nobody forcing you to “better yourself” in the coming year. Instead of singing ‘Auld Lang Syne’ you’re singing the praises of the last tee-shot. It’s casual conversation with a best friend over a beer. You’re not waiting for the action to start, you’re glad it stopped. Relaxation, not resolutions.
Golf is a game of athletic passiveness. It’s played at a walk. You’re there to enjoy it. Speed up? Not a chance. Your partner is looking at a downhill lie, leaning left, on the edge of the green. You shouldn’t even be moving. Let alone, breathing.
Golfers don’t know it, but they are responsible for the term, “pause for the cause.”
If you want to play-through, that’s fine. Most golfers aren’t in a hurry today. If you want to be rushed, go to an airport, they say. Enjoying golf is like eating dessert at a fancy restaurant. That’s why they give you a tiny spoon.
It’s relaxing for the body, but exercise for the mind. That’s why it’s played in calm weather.
Often, you can determine the mental capacity needed on the field of play by the environment during the game.
Billiards is played in a bar with thick smoke, soccer is played in hurricanes with 80,000 screaming fans. Golf is played in serene air with guys in the crowd that hold “quiet” signs.
Can you imagine trying to chip out of the sand in a blizzard? It’s hard enough when it’s drizzling. Heck, even when it’s clear!
Robin Williams was right in his explanation of the scoring. There is a reason when you miss they call it a “stroke.”
But that’s the fun of it. That is why golf was invented. To call into work “sick” and go out tally a few strokes.
